"Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots" (© M. Baily)

Since it first aired back in 1984, the Transformers have been idols for man-geeks to worship. Giant, super-intelligent robots from space that can change into cool looking cars, trucks and planes... what more could an adolescent boy want? If you grew up in the 80s as I did, you had heard about Transformers. Most likely you had some of the toys; I remember being particularly jealous of a kid who had the Optimus Prime with the attached tractor trailer. Maybe you were fortunate enough to see the 1986 film based on the TV show when it was released in theaters that featured the great voice talents of Orson Welles, Peter Cullen, Scatman Crothers and Judd Nelson(?).

The big question is, why was there all this demand for a live-action film almost 20 years after the show was off the air? Sure, there were a few attempts at rebooting the show for a new generation of fans but they never came close to reaching the popularity of the original series. Why make a film based on a cheesy 80s kids show? The answer: geeks never forget a good thing. Throw giant robots from space on the screen and we will watch the battles until our eyes glaze over, then we'll watch some more. I don't even really remember watching the show all that much but you can bet I remember seeing them everywhere. And when I heard that a live-action robot smackdown movie was going to be showing on the big screen, I couldn't wait to see it.

Even after I heard Michael Bay would be directing, I still wanted to see it as soon as I could, I mean Steven Spielberg produced it, he wouldn't let it suck right? When the day finally came and the lights came back on in the theater, I realized that I hadn't been blown away. I'm not sure how high my expectations had reached (someone said it was like seeing Jurassic Park for the first time), but they were not met.

I guess the robots of Transformers were pretty awesome, definitely the best special effects I think I've ever seen. Optimus Prime doing pretty much anything makes this movie worth the price of admission. Whether he's speaking about the rights of sentient beings with his commanding voice or absolutely destroying the face of a Decepticon while fighting in the middle of the freeway, Optimus rules.


Unfortunately most of the other transformers are horribly underused, each getting approximately two lines and one chance to show off their supposedly unique skills. Shia LeBeouf is great in the lead, all the other human characters are just fluff. Some are funny while most are annoying and useless, wasting screen time that could have been filled with more, oh I don't know... Transformers? The film is too long as it is and the plot sucks; Bay probably shot a 3 hour movie and only used the scenes that looked cool instead of the ones that helped the story make sense. Also, Michael Bay must be in love with military, the movie is full of slow motion shots of soldiers getting in and out of various assault vehicles, during the beginning of the film I thought I was watching one of those loud Army commercials.

Go see it for the robots and try not to cringe during the Michael Bay moments, you'll know them when you see them. I really hope they get someone else to direct the sequel. Also check out this Burger King commercial featuring the big 'O'.

Knocked Up

Judd Apatow's latest film has received great reviews from coast to coast AND it gave Pirates of the Caribbean a run for its money over the weekend at the box office. Knocked Up accomplished this rare feat of combining critical and commercial adulation for good reason: it's the best movie of the summer.

I will be first to point out that Apatow handles his male characters better than the female ones, but in Knocked Up he sure comes close to nailing how real people, of both genders, behave in these sorts of situations. His last film was about a nerdy man in his 40's who was still a virgin and how his friends try to "help" him. The situation this time centers around Ben, a slacker with 5 roommates, who hooks up with Allison, a young professional whose career is on the rise. It's a one night stand by every meaning of the phrase and the moment she finds out she's pregnant is when the movie really starts.

As the potentially happy couple tries to get to know each other and "make it work", we meet and get to know some of their friends. Ben is living in never-neverland where you don't have to grow up. He and his friends sit around watching (and quoting) movies and making stupid bets with each other. Allison lives with her sister Debbie who has a husband and two little girls. As Ben and Allison grow closer, they watch as Debbie's marriage goes downhill. Lines are drawn, sides are chosen and... well, you'll just have to go see it if you want to know how the funniest movie of the year ends.


For more on Judd Apatow's work, here's an interview with him about his career starting with TV's Freaks and Geeks.

Reviews: Pan's Labyrinth, Dreamgirls, Children of Men (All Snubbed!)

I've been meaning to write about a few films that I feel got a big fat snub at last year's Oscars, even though they were each wonderfully made. All of these films are out on DVD now, I highly recommend each one.

Pan's Labyrinth

I just got this on DVD, I absolutely loved it when I saw it at theater. I kept thinking about it and telling people about it days after I saw it. It's magical, scary, beautiful and brutal all at once. Watching it again I couldn't help but think about "Labyrinth", the Jim Henson production from the 80's. I loved those kind of movies and to me Pan's felt like a grown up version of those Henson fantasy stories. And I'm serious, this one is not for the kiddies. Pan's Labyrinth is for the adults who are still kids at heart.



Dreamgirls

My wife had wanted to see this when it came out, but I wasn't crazy about going; traditionally I don't enjoy musicals, at all. But she had made me watch Chicago which turned out to be pretty good so I trusted her on this one, besides the early buzz on Dreamgirls was very good. It was surprisingly good; I even believed, for 2 hours, that Beyonce Knowles could act. I fear it might not be as impressive on the small screen but it is a great film regardless. Maybe I'll cave in to my wife's wishes after all and watch Moulin Rouge! with her next.



Children of Men

I just got this one on DVD also. If you are a film geek, you have to see this one simply for the cinematography. My jaw was on the floor during every single action sequence. Read this if you want to know more about how the film crew created some of the most breathtaking chase and combat scenes I've ever seen on film. And on top of the longs takes and flawlessly blended effects, you have a great plot and strong characters inhabiting a frighteningly realistic setting. One of my favorite releases of last year, go rent it now.

Are you there George? It's me, Vader

Dear Mr. Lucas,
I recently read a post on Fan Pop concerning the proper order in which one should view all of the Star Wars films. The traditional argument is usually between two different approaches: The viewer watches episodes I-VI in numerical order as you claim you originally conceived and intended. Or the films can be viewed in the chronology of IV, V & VI followed by I, II & III, the same order the stories were so dramatically rescued from your brilliantly cluttered brain to the open arms of the public. Some purists would argue that only episodes IV, V & VI are worth watching. At the same time other purists would claim that not only should the newer films be included but also the Clone Wars animated series... and the Ewok movies... and the Star Wars Holiday Special. Today, let's simply deal with how the six feature length episodes should be viewed.
To begin, whether or a potential viewer has ever seen a Star Wars film drastically affects what order the films should be viewed. Some would say that one who has never seen Star Wars is a perfect candidate to start with Episode I and watch it the way you intended. I would say rubbish, and remind that idiot of all of the great surprises and twists from the original trilogy that would be ruined by watching the prequels first (You're just wrong George!). However if one watches the original trilogy first, then the prequel trilogy the viewer is faced with ending their experience with lower quality films, boring side narratives, and one huge downer of an ending. Can this conundrum ever be solved?
Personally my favorite was the suggestion of watching Episode IV & V, then shift gears and watch I, II & III as simply a really long flashback, THEN watch VI to tie it all together. I Think this format works best both for fans and for those new to the saga, but that's just my opinion. They're your movies George, you can tell people how to watch them all you want, they just don't have to listen.

Sincerely,
D.V.


P.S. In honor of all of the hoopla on the web in regards to the 30th anniversary of the release of the original Star Wars, here's something I found to be entertaining; a look at Anakin/Darth Vader's psyche from a medical perspective.